You're a womanizer and a bitch.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
