A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
