Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
