"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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