i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
two words: eviction party
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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