I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
