After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
