i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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