At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
