i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
