I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
