upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
