i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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