I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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