hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
