peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
