yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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