I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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