I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
