exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
