She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
