Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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