My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
