I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
