Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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