I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
