she was so not down for the gang bang
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
