I need help removing her.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
