help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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