Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
