I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
