so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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