You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think people are normalizing furries
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
