HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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