Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's shark week go big or go home
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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