Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
