For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
