This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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