Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
