Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this boner is exhausting
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
