At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
