My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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