I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
