There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
