How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We left an ass print on the piano.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you had me at cake vodka
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
