we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
