Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
