will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
