what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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