the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need to align my fucking chakras
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
