and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
