i wish my penis had a tongue
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
