I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
